Due to my metaphysical studies, I subscribe to the philosophy that we choose the main points of our life path – parents, the country in which we are born, and the biggest life lessons. The relationship with my dad has been the biggest inspiration for my personal and spiritual growth. If I were to recall my childhood, there are few positive memories of my father. Now, things are different, and I owe that to my spiritual practice.
There is a story I enjoy about two sons. One is a drunk and when asked why he is the way he is, the answer is “Because of my father.” The second one is a successful businessman. When asked why he is the way he is, the answer is “Because of my father.” While two brothers grew up in the same household, it is their willingness to use the pain point as an inspiration for personal growth that sets them apart.
I painted this piece of art in honor of the journey on which I’ve been on. It is titled “Father-Daughter” and belongs to the category of intuitive painting. For me, this form of self-expression has been a tremendous source of healing. In the beginning, a vague image came to mind. The heart is being a metaphor for the journey on which I’ve been on – around healing my heart.
The processes of painting and healing involve trusting myself and being present. Not letting my head take over and instead relying on subtle images, waves of inspiration, nudges for specific colors, and the hand movement for brush strokes to create the painting. In that way, the painting creates itself and I am there to be present and translate the inspiration onto the canvas. When the energy flow ends, I know the painting is done. I am transformed too – it is a collaboration between myself – human and myself – the Source.
“Father-Daughter” is the end of an era where my viewpoint on the relationship has shifted from pain to gratitude. To heal only one thought in one’s mind might take years. In this case, the thought was hatred-based. The energy behind it is so strong that it takes repetition and intention to let go of such a strong attachment to it.
On the other side is freedom – the ability to live and not be weighted down by negativity, resentment, and anger. The journey is not easy but is worth-while. One of the major life lessons we choose is to be alchemists in our own lives and transform the energy of negativity into joy. That’s a life worth living, in my viewpoint.
Nowadays, phone calls with my dad who lives in Russia end with a sweet phrase, “I love you.”