I Lost 2 Dear People Last Week - Messages from the Other Side 🌹

Last week, I lost 2 people in my life. So, today's is a very special newsletter:

• my grandmother &
• my spiritual teacher 

A lot of the last week has been about grieving and feeling, for me. I am still a bit in this process of grieving. But I felt centered enough to connect to both my grandmother Tamara & my spiritual teacher Judy. 

Here is a brief conversation I had with them, separately. Judy passed away on September 19, 2023. My grandmother passed away on September 26, 2023.  

My grandmother: 

When I connected to my grandmother's energy, I could feel this: 

My grandmother was scared of dying. Generally speaking, she had lots of fears, so she is still releasing her fears and adjusting to the new state of being.

She likes some things and she doesn't like other things. For example, she is happy that she is free from physical pain and she can walk again. But she is very much adjusting to what is up & down, left & right.

In her own words:

"It's like I am being disoriented & feel a bit like a child again, learning how to control my body - I do have an etheric body, but it's very different from the physical body. It has some memories of the physical body, & it still has gender. 

I do have friends here who are  "explaining to me what's going on" - they are staying away however and are not very close. They are not explaining things in a regular language way of communicating, but rather - it's a sense of energetic transmission, from one being to another. 

Your grandfather is here, his mother is here. And others. Some of them I know. Others - I don't. 

I know that I have died. I have that understanding. It has taken me a few moments to realize that. But now I know. 

I am happy with my funeral. I am happy that my daughters have come together. 

I feel no shame or guilt for my life. I lived a good life.

My only regret is that I didn't love more. I wish I loved me. I wish I knew how to love. I wish I expressed it better. I wish to let my heart open so that love can flow in and out more easily from me. I was too scared to love. And too scared to get hurt. 

Thank you. 

Message from Judy:

Judy was a very special human. A very evolved teacher & it was an absolute privilege to study with her for many years. 

In her own words:

I love you, Masha! I love you. Never doubt that & know that I am always there for you and with you. 

I need nothing from you - especially at this point, where I am deeply taken care of by my Creator and by my spirit team. 

I am here to serve you, from now on. Ask away. 

Q. What is my purpose? 

A. To help people open their hearts - to love, joy, connection, relationships. Help them heal their past so that they are not stuck there. So many people are stuck in their past. It's depressing.

It takes their joy away. It's time to forgive your parents, fathers, mothers, and ancestors. They did their best. 

It's hard to understand that our best, sometimes, is ugly. The best doesn't mean there was no pain, no sorrow, no drama. 

There was. 

But you have to let it go. That's how you live in the present. That's how you keep being connected with God. That's how you love. 

Everything else must go.  

Q. It is normal to grieve? 

A. Absolutely, how else can you let go of emotions and heaviness of loss? You must grieve. You must let those emotions out.

Dance, cry, wail even, paint, walk, talk to trees, crawl on your knees. Do whatever makes you FEEL. So many people don't feel anything. You must feel. 

You have to feel - yes, all of it. Pain is also joy. Pain is necessary. That's how humans learn. Through pain, still. 

We haven't yet fully evolved into a different way of learning - through joy only. Pain is the teacher, my child. 

The more sensitive you are, the less pain you need. If you are not sensitive, you need more pain.  

When you are sensitive, it's easier for you to feel the slightest whisper of pain. And you learn fast. 

When you keep ignoring pain, it gets stronger and stronger until you pay attention. 

Q. What are the stages of grief? 

A. There are no stages. Grief is a complex emotion. It's a mix of love and loss of love. Because of that, it can bring up all kinds of superficial reactions, like anger, neglect, numbness, avoidance, and fear even. 

It can also trigger child wounding - like being abandoned or not loved. 

The most important thing is to feel it all and not get stuck in any of those emotions. Because on the other side is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. 

Q. Do you have any messages today?

A. The most important thing you can do for yourself is learn to love yourself. It's partially connected to the Creator loving you. But you are also the Creator. There is no separation between the Creator and you - it's all & the same. 

Yes, there is some hierarchy, but you have all the qualities that the creator has. 

So, be the Creator, embody the Creator, be LOVE - towards yourself. 

You cannot give someone else what you cannot give yourself. Don't even try. It's futile. 

You must love and accept yourself. Only then, can you be happy in relationships, in work, in creative pursuits, in community, in society, in politics - in all of it. 

Loving yourself is not a superficial thing, my child. It's hard. But we are complex - humans. It's not easy to love a human. 

It's easy to love a flower, a tree, or even a cat. 

But we, humans, are ugly at times. We have warts, pain, and hurt. When we are hurt, we become ugly. 

But despair not - you can do it, my love. I am with you - forever with you. 

Thank you!

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