self-love Jan 18, 2022

If I were to die tomorrow and someone asked me, "What's the message you want to leave behind?" 

My answer would be: "Teaching on Self-Love" - aka learning to re-parent yourself & connect to your True Self. 

The idea of self-parenting is not new. For instance, Dr. Nicole LePera is a big advocate of this work and has popularized the idea of being a self-healer. I have my own perspective on what re-parenting looks like. But if you haven't heard of her work, I highly recommend the book "How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self." 

I am the proudest of breaking a number of generational patterns: 

- having a loving and safe home, 

- communicating my needs, 

- respecting my boundaries, 

- resting when I need to, 

- making money from things I enjoy doing, 

- providing respectful parenting to my child, 

- having my own opinion on a number of topics, 

- taking my physical and mental health into my own hands. Recognizing that illness is a symptom, not the cause. And mainstream medicine is generally only good with crisis management but not prevention. 

- experiencing joy in life

- having meaningful relationships. 

To me, self-love is a very practical, concrete, and measurable practice. For example, if I am able to spend the holidays without setting high-performance expectations on myself, I have succeeded. If I am able to ask for help around the house, and not feel that I have to do it all alone & then feel miserable, then I have also succeeded.

It's a daily practice. It's a practice. And sometimes, I fail. That's OK too. 

To me, self-love is NOT about: 

- being rich, 

- fulfilling every desire I have, 

- doing whatever I want whenever I want, 

- not caring about others, 

- being happy all the time.

Self-love, to me, means: 

  • Understanding that my parents can't help me heal. They can't! They are not capable - a big shout out to my friend Katerina, who has helped me understand that. 
  • That behind every sadness, anger, jealousy, or comparison that I experience, there is pain. Usually, connected to the feeling that "I'm not good enough" or "There is something wrong with me." 
  • Remembering that none of that is true. And that healing myself means returning to MY TRUE SELF - the place of non-judgment and unconditional love TOWARDS MYSELF. Remembering that I am perfect. 
  • Love heals everything. Everything. It just takes time. 

As Anita Moorjani says, 

                   "You were born perfect, and you will die perfect." 

A huge and whole-hearted YES to that. 

With love, 


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