I learned about this weird concept of JOY at a time of my life when things were bleak:
- after my divorce &
- when I was deep down learning about and healing my childhood trauma.
What I learned then I still practice now:
Joy isn’t reserved for times when everything is working out in your life. Actually, when things aren’t perfect, that’s when you lean on joy even more liberally.
Joy means
- Being ALIVE. Resistance is constipation. You can’t enjoy that :) It’s painful.
- leaning into the process. And making the best out of it.
I’ve leaned into my period of post-divorce JOY, for example, and had fun. In retrospect, I needed to be easier on myself instead of berating myself for
- not having a partner YET
- not being a mom YET
In retrospect, nothing was wrong. The Universe was giving me breathing room to recover, recalibrate, have some fun in life, understand my value outside a relationship, heal, and develop my own perspective.
My parents were on my neck for still having no kids, however.
My dad’s voice (G-d bless him), “You’re wasting your life. Stop writing stupid books. You should have already had 5 kids instead.” (This gives you a glimpse of why we don’t have the best relationship ;).
My mom is more polite by nature. She simply remarked, “I simply want you to have the experience of having kids. These were my best years.” Sweet.
But my mom never really had time to enjoy life. Or sex without having to work for it for the next 21 years.
I adore my kids. And, after I had Amari (my first one at the age of 40), I said out loud,
“And this you call your best life experience. Seriously!!!”
My body felt like I had just been in a car crash. I had a screaming infant, so my eardrums were popping out of my headspace. My boobs were engorged and not in the best way. And I forgot what a full night of sleep feels like.
I said many other things that I don’t need to share publicly.
Yes, and we decided to have a second baby -- women are crazy in this way ;)
I have learned to appreciate the love and joy that come with having kids, too...
Our Soul has a weird sense of humor.
They enjoy a human experience.
Apparently, there is a waitlist for reincarnation - to be born into this human experience is a privilege.
So, you either align with this sense of humor or resist.
When you resist, you’re in the constipation zone (aka resisting your own very choice, which is usually known as self-sabotage).
There is JOY in every season of life:
- single
- divorced
- married
- widowed
- without kids
- with kids, etc.
I’ve been listening to some stand-up comedians lately. And realized that spirituality/healing and stand-up have many things in common:
- It starts in childhood - where you wisely choose your family ;) So that you have plenty of material to work with.
- Continues in adulthood, when you continuously put yourself in front of strangers who either close the door on you or laugh in your face.
Whatever you are dealing with in this lifetime -- it’s your Soul’s curriculum for evolution:
- depression
- anxiety
- illness
- romance
- finding yourself at work or
- cleaning poop ... all good.
Know that you’re on the right track. You are exactly where you need to be (for the time being).
Joy is partially about a mindset of how you approach life, how you deal with hardships, and it’s also about re-aligning your thinking.
Because your beliefs influence what you experience.
When you align with JOY, you can move through the current period with smoothness. And start creating a better future one.
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If you are still reading this, I am inviting you to this month’s Spiritual Collective - group healing experience.
Moving in Life with JOY
May 23rd (2 pm EST, online).
Healing can also be fun.
Register here
Cheers,
Mariya